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Welcome to Brook Haven Ranch! We are a 18+ premium role playing community set in Trader's Bend, Montana. Our concept is the culmination of twenty years of plotting and planning. We feature a rich, developed program in which many troubled characters thrive. Our community is one of the best on jcink and we look forward to you becoming a part of it!
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 lay your weary head to rest [TW], 17 / pathfinder / charlie kyrn
petra sokoloff
Student • 17 YRS
ISFJ
Occupation
Student
Nickname
Petra
Pronouns
she/her/hers
Sexual Orientation
Heterosexual
Status
Single
Partner
n/a
Riding Style
Western
Weaver
is
In Your Dreams

Breed
Thoroughbred
Gender
Gelding
Age
18 Years
Disciplines
Barrel Racing
Application
is Offline


Age
37
Pronouns
He/him/his
Timezone
GMT-5
Contact
PM for Discord
23 Posts
295 Points
Pathfinder
Mustang
Petra Sokoloff
TW: gender dysphoria, statutory rape, genital exposure, transphobic comments, needles, puberty blockers, implied incest between adopted siblings

Basics


Full Name: petrova julia sokoloff
Nickname/Alias: petra, viktor
Date of Birth: august 22nd
Current Age: 17
Gender: transfemale
Pronouns: she/her/hers
User Group: pathfinder
Sub-Group: student

Appearance


Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: brown
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 141 lbs
Scars or Marks: none
Tattoos or Piercings snakebites
Face Claim: charlie kyrn

Personality


MBTI Type: isfj
Likes: computer programming, video games, video gaming systems, twitch, youtube, the transgender community, chatting with other people, internet connection, russian language, movies, popcorn, russian food, cozy armchairs, music, being in control, friends who know who she is, being able to be out, warm blankets, fire places, winter weather, snow, the way snow looks when it covers the ground, when boys find her attractive, pretty clothes, sundresses, swimming in the summer, bonfires, roasting marshmallows, good jokes, being with friends, people who respect her, web design, role play, coding things, netflix, being popular
Dislikes: school, reading, being forced to spend time outside, boy's clothing, being forced to present as male, transphobia, homophobia, comments on her use of language, going to the dentist, people outing her, being touched in bad places, pushy religious types, transphobic slurs, racial slurs,the bible, being forced to go to church, wide open spaces, people talking down to her, when people speak slowly to her as though she can't understand them if they speak normally, excessive homework, unnecessary attention, unwanted attention, being touched against her will
Strengths: kind, committed, loving, good intrapersonal skills, passionate, compassionate, generous
Weaknesses: controlling, stubborn, shy, struggles with personal relationships, fearful of abandonment, timid, addicted to technology, lazy
Fears: being "outed," surgical alteration, being denied her hormones, bugs crawling on her, going back to russia, being totally disconnected, fire, being raped (again)
Aspirations: to become a professional video game designer

Psychology


Divergence: no remarkable divergences unless you consider gender identity disorder a mental disorder
Risk Factors: fear of discovery could result in self-harm to the genitals, though petra fears genital mutilation
Current Treatment: hormone treatment with puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy for gender identity disorder

Brook Haven Referral


Referred by: latrice addams, social worker
Referred for: petra's protection. she had entered into a violent relationship with an older man and needed to be protected from the environment.
Problem Areas: petra is extremely timid and shy following a terrifying incident

Relationships


Romantic Orientation: heteroromantic (likes men)
Sexual Orientation: heterosexual (likes men)
Relationship Status: single
Significant Other: none

Lifestyle


Career/Occupation: student
Education: junior year
Dream Job: video game designer
Home Town: makhachkala, russia
Religion: agnostic

Equestrian Life


Preferred Riding Style: western
Disciplines: barrel racing, trail riding, reining
Riding Strengths: excellent posture, good communication, good positions
Riding Weaknesses: hates the saddle, doesn't like to tack up, uncomfortable seat

Not "Born a Boy"

You were born in a different world than the one to which you would eventually acclimate. The doctor said, when you were born, that you were a boy, and she wrote on your birth certificate that you were a boy. By the time that you were first able to talk, you knew them to be wrong. Nobody asked you what you wanted to be called, or what you wanted to wear, so the people at the orphan home where you went to live with your brother Ilya simply put you in trousers and polo shirts and called you "Viktor" because that was what your mother had named you. Ilya was the first one to listen to you when you told him you were a girl. You came to him, dressed in the frilly Last Dress of one of the girls on the other ward. It had lace at the collar and soft ruffles at the hem and you loved everything about the dress, which was a soft shade of lilac and fit your small body perfectly. You were three years old, and the dress belonged to a girl a tiny bit older than you, but small. He told you that you were very pretty, but that you were a boy and that the staff wouldn't like it very much to see you dressed as a girl. He was right. Ilya was often right. The staff put you back in the trousers and the little polo shirt and shoved you into their box. Nobody wanted to adopt a boy who dressed like a girl. You insisted that you were a girl and though Ilya shushed you, he called you "she" when nobody was listening, and when you asked him to call you Petra, he did. Ilya loved you and he wanted you to know that he loved you, and he showed you by affirming your gender. You were a girl. You had always been a girl. You always would be a girl. The staff was right, of course. Nobody wanted to adopt you. You refused to answer to the name that your mother had given you, and they refused to call you Petra. You refused to put on the clothes that they gave you, and they would routinely find you in the dresses that the girls wore. When they took you to a psychologist to determine the problem, he labeled you as "special needs," increasing the opportunity for American adoption. But no adopter came, and you fast approached puberty. Your doctor referred you for drugs that would stop your puberty from happening. It was enough, in the beginning.

Hormones

You were twelve when the girls around you first started to develop. Some, of course, were ahead of you, but they were older. The girls in your year began to develop breasts when you were eleven going on twelve, and by the time that you were twelve, you were the only flat-chested girl left in your year. So you asked for hormones. The doctor refused. By the time you were of age to start your puberty, Ilya had been adopted. He was gone for a year, no longer there to direct you and guide you. Even the American parents interested in a special needs Russian child didn't want one whose body didn't match her pronouns, and so you went on with the others who nobody wanted, clinging to the hope that one day you would get out of there. You spent your days in town, sneaking out of the orphan home to find somewhere with computers. Most of the time it was cafes with a computer tucked into a corner, and you'd find a way to get onto it behind somebody who had been using it. You took to picking pockets to earn the money to pay for the hours yourself, and then finally you graduated to spending that money to order black market hormones so that your breasts would develop the way that the other girls' breasts developed. Ilya came back for you when you were thirteen and he was nineteen. He had graduated high school and moved out of his adoptive parents' house. It took him six months before he could take you back with him to the United States, and half of that was spent convincing you to go. You didn't want to leave Russia, but you were also afraid to stay. Your brother lived in a small apartment in central Iowa, where he'd been taken when he had been adopted. His adopters were no longer interested in the relationship, but had seen out their part of the contract. Ilya supported you and himself from the time that you were fourteen years old until you were seventeen, and he did his best by you. He was the one who purchased your first video games, and the one who kept up the habit. He's the one who allowed you to develop your Youtube channel. And he never had any idea that your body's growth wasn't natural until he found a charge on his credit card for your hormones. Ilya was the one who insisted that you see a doctor, get a diagnosis, receive legal treatments for your dysphoria. You were relieved, and joyful. You still didn't think there was something wrong with you, something different about you. What you did know, what you had learned, you shared with your friends on Youtube.

Assault

Youtube was partially responsible for the assault. They knew who you were, what you were, and what your body was like. You never thought not to talk about it openly. You'd always hoped that doing so would help other people who were like you. You were a good person. It started out innocently enough. You were sixteen, and you liked the attention that he gave you. He was twenty-six and never lied about his age. You thought that he loved you, and that was important. Nobody had ever loved you as much as Ilya loved you, and this man was different. So you agreed to meet him. He hurt you, and he exposed you. Carson put his hands on you, and he exposed you, ridiculed you and called you horrible, horrible names. When you made it home, Ilya was furious -- at first with them, but finally with you for being so stupid as to get involved with a man you had met on the internet. He locked you in your room for two days, and when he finally let you out, things were different. Ilya demanded that you see a therapist, and the therapist would eventually send you to Brook Haven, where you would have no access to the technology that had gotten you into trouble in the first place.

Making Adjustments

Petra's been dealing with her transition for years in a very private way. Doctors treated her gender dysphoria with puberty-blocking drugs but refused to issue transitioning hormones to an orphan living in an orphan's home. She had to seek out the hormones illegally on the black market once the other girls with whom she went to school began to start their periods and develop their breasts. Though she was behind them, she therefore developed normal breasts and hips for a girl. Authorities didn't make a big deal about it, mostly because they didn't care.

Now that Ilya has managed to bring her to the United States with him, she has to make an entirely different kind of transition. This is a different place and she's struggling with everything from the language to the social aspects of her transition. In this new place, nobody at all knows her as Viktor, so it's only an issue on the occasions that Ilya accidentally refers to her as "Vik," but she's fighting to figure out who she is in this new place.

No Technology

One of Petra's coping mechanisms for getting through the more difficult aspects of her transition has been to take to technology. She is a gaming addict and on top of that, she has a regular webshow that she puts on every Friday and releases onto Youtube. She also airs her computer games on Twitch, and she will not do well with being separated from her normal technology in order to be on the ranch. This is going to be difficult for Petra, and she will protest -- loudly -- if she has to.

Of course it's not going to make any kind of a difference for her, so this is going to be something that could cause full-on shut-downs from Petra. She won't meltdown like some students will, but she will go into a deep shut-down mode where she won't communicate if she can't have her technology. Clearly this could wind up being an issue with her.

Recovery

Petra is naturally a shy person who requires considerable patience on the part of others who wish to make a difference in her life. Being trans will do that to a person who isn't confident that their body won't be exploited, as hers has been by an older man who took advantage of her need to have somebody who loved her. The man in this case was thirty-seven years old when Petra was only sixteen, and manipulated himself into a position to treat her in an inappropriate way. There was sex, but only after a time. In the beginning, the issue was that he exposed her body to others in an inappropriate way and put her at risk of being raped by others.

This incident has made Petra terrified for her life, and she is very private about her gender identity. For the time being, she's in the closet, though she doesn't believe that any person should have to remain in the closet the way that she does. She hates this, and she's furious with herself for not being more out and proud about her identity.

About Petra

Petra is an incredibly shy little peanut who is actually anything but little. Ilya has said to her in the past that he's quite sure that if she had been born with XX chromosomes, she still would have come out so tall, as he is taller than her himself. She's self conscious about virtually everything about herself, from her height to her voice (which is perfectly feminine thanks to puberty blockers from the age of nine onward!), to the shape of her hips. The ranch in particular has cut her off from access to clothing which fits her body the way that she wants it to, and so she is increasingly conscious of the way that she looks in the clothes that the ranch has prescribed for her.

It hadn't crossed her mind that the other students are wearing the same thing and that nobody is concerned with the flare of her hips. She's been so busy trying to pass since she came to the US that it's difficult to stop struggling with this, and she's not adjusting well to being in an environment where she must wear "boy clothes."

The point is that it can be difficult to engage a person who will do her best to escape from the sight line of people as long as she is concerned about their ability to detect that her body does not match her outward presentation as female. She faced a recent issue of exposure thanks to a difficult quasi-romantic situation with a much older man who had first promised that he wanted to adopt her and then exposed her underwear in a public setting, so she is increasingly aware of what she's hiding and is worried about how other people will respond when they find out -- because she knows it's a matter of when and not a matter of "if."

When one overcomes the issues of gender, Petra is quite a fun-loving girl. She enjoys her computer games, of course, but she's easy enough to engage in almost anything that's competitive once she's comfortable with the situation and she knows that nothing is going to pop out at an inappropriate time. (Alright, so there isn't any knowing, but if she feels safe, she'll be fine.) She enjoys friends and will open up with the right girls but generally avoids boys unless she is made to feel especially comfortable.

Most of all, she loves to help people. She will attach herself to most of the other transgender and some of the nonbinary students on the ranch in the hopes of teaching them what she's learned in the course of an early social transition, and in particular how to be their authentic selves without letting other people walk all over them.

Platonic

Petra is a very good friend to a few people, and she prefers to gather in small groups of, well, two. She's a highly introverted person who is happy to play computer games in the room with her friends with headphones on and not talking, but she doesn't want to go to a party and will probably not do all that well with a group of friends -- particularly if that group of friends includes boys. In short, Petra is complicated.

She prefers girls in part because she had to fight so hard for the first half of her life to be recognized as one, and it wasn't until the girls started to recognize her and include her at their orphan home in Russia that she was able to gain the recognition that she needed from the staff. Boys always made fun of her for preferring girls' clothes over boys' clothes, and none of them apart from her brother Ilya treated her well. For this reason she is simply wary around boys -- not to mention the fact that transwomen are at an increased risk of rape, plus her past experiences.

I don't like to be the person who says "you'll have to work very hard to be her friend" because nobody wants to have to do that much work to make friends with a character. It's annoying and I won't put you through that. But with Petra, patience is required. She's shy and she's introverted and she might not do a lot of talking at first. Very extroverted friends will scare her, so what she really needs is a talkative introvert who likes to be one-on-one but who is comfortable enough to chat her up -- maybe somebody who takes an interest in her language?

Petra will open up when the time is right, and I do not expect friends to do all of the work in getting through to her. The right person, at the right time, who shares her interests, will get her to speak to them without you having to do all of the work, so please, read the rest of her application to figure out if you have somebody who might share some of her interests or traits and we can see what happens from there!

Romantic

Petra is heterosexual. This means that she likes boys/men. I want to be clear about this because if you aren't familiar with transgender culture, there are enough people out there who would call this homosexual. It's important first to recognize her identity as a female and then to recognize that her interest in men therefore makes her straight. I wish to also emphasize at this juncture that if you do not recognize her identity as female, then you will not do as a mate for her. I should also mention that she is a switch though usually the bottom due to her gender identity. She is, however, comfortable with her body and therefore willing to play the role of top for those who wish it -- she'll just find it odd because women don't usually top men unless they are dominating them, and she's phlegmatic. This won't happen often.

So on top of all this, Petra's not a virgin. She's relatively experienced in sex and she sort of expects it when it comes to a relationship. She won't step into a relationship and think that things are just going to go with some light kissing and hand-holding. She wants PIV sex. Although it pains me to note this in an underage character, she's also quite good at what she does, as it was one of her coping mechanisms for her dysphoria.

That being said, really she is a squishy bean who loves deeply. If you're interested in a relationship with Petra, she loves to cuddle, kiss, and stroke. She enjoys deep conversations about everything and can be quite philosophical with her partners. This is a side of her that her friends won't see, so if you have a boy who might be interested in seeing her romantically, he will get a side of her that others don't. This is the side of Petra that wonders about the state of the universe, that wants to talk about global warming, that waxes philosophical on the matter of women's rights, and who can do all of this while avoiding mentioning LGBT rights as well.

She has a lot of love to give and if she gets involved with somebody, she's going to want forever. She's going to want to be allowed to make her final legal transition and get married as a woman. So if you want to be her lover, note that this is forever for her and if you decide that you no longer want the relationship, it is going to crush her.

Antagonistic

The fact that Petra avoids people in general will lead to her likely having fewer enemies than she might if she was a more social person. While there will surely be people who dislike her because she is so shy, it's unlikely that she's going to wind up having a ton of enemies simply because in order to have them, you have to interact. It would, however, be disingenuous to say that she won't have any purely because of her personality.

She's going to dislike some people, starting with the obvious: People who are transphobic or otherwise anti-transgender are going to make her furious. Conservative individuals who espouse anti-transgender values and who are against any form of social justice are going to anger her as well. She's going to have trouble with anybody who considers her to be "communist" because of where she spent most of her life up to this point -- and there will still be some in this day and age, as well. These are the basics and the most outwardly obvious.

She won't get along with anybody who tries to tell her that real life is better than her video games. She won't like people who say that the violence in video games makes children violent (she's not, for example). She's going to be angry that she can't get onto her Youtube channels and this is going to make her hostile toward those in authority over her.

If Petra doesn't like you, you'll know. While she's shy and quiet most of the time, she can be a raging bull with people she dislikes. It's not just that she will talk about these people behind their backs (which she will), but that she will also say what she thinks about them to their face -- usually that whatever their opinion is is simply wrong, or sometimes stupid (so be careful if this is a trigger for you [but also I promise to avoid it if I know that it is!]).

Other

Petra is going to be hard for her leaders and counselors to deal with, mostly because she is constantly on the quest for her electronics. This could result in her sneaking into the offices to hop onto Youtube to let everybody know that although she has been "kidnapped" she is safe where she is. Technology is an addiction like a drug, and Petra is definitely addicted! She will require a lot of patience, as punishment can be terrifying for her due to past circumstances.

First Impressions

Boy, she is tall!

Petra stands 6'1" tall. This is not only tall for a woman, but also tall for a man, and there is definitely a strong possibility that she would have been this tall even if she had been born with XX chromosomes. It's the first thing that most people notice about her because it's so remarkable. It's one thing for a girl to be 5'10" tall, but 6'1" is a veritable giant, and Petra towers over most of the other girls that she meets.

She's really pretty shy, isn't she?

Just being an introvert is enough to make Petra quiet, but she's also quite shy due to some recent experiences that left her feeling unsafe with other people. She grew up as social small person, but as she grew, she had more and more dangerous relationships and situations that resulted in her withdrawing inward and not being willing to do much talking with other people. She's definitely shy now.

I wish she'd speak up: It's hard to hear her.

Due largely to her shyness but also to her personality type, Petra is very quiet when she speaks. She keeps her voice low so as not to attract attention or to offend somebody, and this can mean that her words get lost. Her English is adequate (maybe even "good"), but she keeps her voice so low that her accent can make it sound like she's speaking another language like Russian, Ukranian, or Albanian. Most people wish that she'd speak up when they first meet her, not realizing how painful it is for her to speak to new people at all.

Stranger Impressions

He's pretty for a boy.

The majority of strangers who "know" Petra will know her from her Youtube channel, where she discusses transgender issues. As with any situation where trans women speak up about issues pertaining to their gender, there are cismen who enjoy antagonizing her or who view her as a boy with boobs. Some of them don't mean anything, but do fetishize her for her body, while others are doing it to be cruel.

She looks really good for somebody born male.

Most people who run into Petra and know that she's transgender are surprised by how well she passes. Not only does she have a very natural feminine body (thanks to puberty blockers and then black market hormones that nearly killed her), but she has a pretty face and hair that give a highly feminine appearance. She's very Russian in her looks all around and an incredibly pretty person. The people who say this often don't understand that she wasn't born male: She was merely assigned male at birth because of her anatomy.

I wish I could meet her!

The remaining lot of strangers will know her not from Youtube, but from Twitch. These folks will enjoy her because of her computer games and the way that she plays, and they will probably want to meet her because she's an incredible gamer, programmer, and designer. She's impressive when she plays on Twitch or in a multiplayer situation, and others may want to meet her. Some might even head to conventions in the hopes of finding her there.

Friendly Impressions

I had no idea how sweet she was until I got to know her.

Petra is very reserved before she becomes close with a person, and most of the time she might come across as rude or anti-social. The truth is that she's scared, and when friends get to know her, they are often surprised to find somebody who is a very sweet and affectionate little lady who wants nothing more than to make her friends happy and content with their lives. She's the sort of friend who will do anything to comfort a friend in need.

I wish she'd put herself out there more.

While she's not clingy with the few friends that she does have, Petra's friends will likely feel like she ought to get out there and make more friends than she already has. It's a lot of pressure being one of only a small number of friends, but more than that, they are concerned about her emotional well-being, given that she keeps to herself so much of the time.

It's sad that she feels she needs to protect herself.

The people who are most close to Petra know what hurt her, and how hard she has to work to protect herself from the terrors that have dominated her past. She wants nothing more than to be left alone, and the people who are closest understand that there is a reason for it. It saddens them that she feels that she's not safe with people of the opposite gender because of her past.

Familiar Impressions

Petra's soft in all the right ways, but hard in all the wrong ones.

It doesn't take being family to see Petra's softness or her hard edges, but there is no doubt at all that Ilya is the one who knows them the best. She's a very feminine girl with a flare for fashion and who enjoys dressing up and looking good. She's sweet-natured, gentle, and soft spoken. But she is also competitive as all get-out and she hates to lose.

I wish I could have gotten her out sooner.

Petra's been in a dangerous situation for the past several years, since puberty should have started for her. The orphan home where she lived allowed the puberty-blockers that her doctor felt were best for her, but it did not permit her to take estrogen to enable the growth of breast tissue and the expansion of her hips. For this reason, she used black-market hormones to get the feminine body that she has. More than anything, Ilya wishes that he could have kept her safe from a potential disaster.

Rival Impressions

Oh my God! She's a dude!

While she's no beauty queen, Petra is pretty and some of her main rivals are going to be the girls who miss being able to take care of their skin, hair, and makeup. She has naturally beautiful brown hair, along with wide, bright blue eyes. Petra has also shown herself capable of using natural things as makeup where other girls don't have their supplies. She's grown accustomed to having to make do with soot and berries.

How come she gets to bunk with the girls?

The majority of her rivals are going to be transphobes on the ranch. They fall into two categories: The rivals and the enemies. The rivals are those who are jealous of her while her enemies are those who truly hate what she is. Since she is competition for a commodity that is in short supply on the ranch (boys), the girls are apt to want her out of their space and to force her to be among the boys. These girls don't really mean what they say.

Enemy Impressions

People like him need to die.

The worst enemies are those who are so transphobic that they hate people like Petra. She can handle people using male pronouns to describe her (though she dislikes it immensely); She can handle people who don't understand what she is; She can handle people not wanting to be her friend; But she will be straight-up enemies with anyone who believes that transgender people don't deserve to exist.

People like him are what's ruining this country. Fuckin' commie tranny.

Not only is Petra transgender, but she is also Russian, and the list of things wrong with her in the eyes of many Americans only seems to grow deeper and deeper. This is the one that she actually faces the most often, since she does generally pass well among those who don't know that she's transfemale. They may also hate that he's transgender and believe that transgender people are the ones who are making things terrible in the US because of demanding equal rights.

Authority Impressions

I wish she'd come out of her shell a bit more.

Petra is a quiet person when she's around unfamiliar people, and she tends to be very soft spoken and withdrawn from others. Authorities on the ranch will likely find it hard to help her because she keeps so much to herself. She's not getting the most out of the program as long as she's merely missing her video games and her makeup, and she needs to have the opportunity to explore the ranch a bit more. Authorities will want to help her, but find helping her difficult.

She makes things difficult for herself.

Responsible authorities will see Petra as an addictive personality -- because she is -- and they are going to note that she has trouble working the program because she's so busy pining for the things that she can't have. Most of them have sympathy for her, but wish that she would work harder to engage with the program and stop fighting them for things that are always going to be a hard "no" even while other students get their privileges and therefore their things.

Coworker/Partner Impressions

She's too shy to work with.

Petra's so quiet and shy around people that she doesn't make an easy group mate on the ranch. She doesn't know a lot of people and doesn't reach out to them, so when she has to work with them on projects, she generally only follows instructions and rarely comes up with original ideas. For somebody who is otherwise so opinionated, and so full of ideas this is something that came to pass after she was abused.

I wish she'd pull her weight.

As a side-effect of taking instruction rather than contributing, Petra often seems not to be pulling her weight within the group. She waits to be told to do something instead of asking what she can do to help, and in this setting, it's not working out all that well for her because the things that need doing aren't getting done. It's frustrating for other members of her group to have to hold her hand an lead her along at all times.

She's too competitive.

And on the other side of things, when Petra's comfortable she can get super competitive. Since she's not accustomed to team settings and is quite an individual player, she tends to compete with her group instead of as part of the team against other teams on the ranch. This is hard for her team mates, who often find that she's working against them so that she can win the battle between two people instead of being part of the team.

Lover Impressions

I love the way that she laughs.

Petra has a surprising laugh, and one that not many people get the opportunity to hear. She has an incredibly feminine laugh, and it brightens up most rooms. When she's comfortable with somebody, Petra can be a right goofball, and she's never so goofy as she is with her lover. She's a softie at heart and this is the person who is most likely to see that in her.

I wish everybody could see her the way that I see her.

Ilya's not the only one who can see Petra for the person who she really is; Her lover will see her this way too, and she will open a side to him that she will only ever open to him. There's a deep beauty in Petra, and a great tragedy as well, and these are things that those who take care of her ought to be able to see, but often can't. He will see them and want others to see them as well.

Self-Impressions

I love who I am.

Petra well and truly sincerely loves herself, in the best possible way. She loves her body just as it is (yes, genitalia and all), and she loves herself as a girl who just happens to have some parts typically associated with males. She's proud of who she is and she doesn't self-identify as "trans" because in her mind, she's simply a girl who happens to have some parts that other people associate with boys. That's all in her mind, and she's very happy with who she is.

I wish other people saw what I do.

There's a reason that Petra reaches out to other young trans persons who need help. She wants them to see themselves the way that she sees herself: As worthy and capable. She might be a bit crushed right now, but Petra's making a comeback, and when that happens, watch out world because she is one incredible little girl.

Post-Mortem Impressions

She lived for what she believed in, that's for sure.

If there is one thing that people will say of Petra when she's gone it's that she lived what she believed, and that she stood up for marginalized people in an unexpected way. The power of the internet gave her a voice to communicate with other teens who struggled with their identity and allowed her to tell them that they were okay in a way the rest of the world refused to do.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

On the other side of things, those who hate transgenders will be glad to see another one out of the world where she can no longer spread the idea that transwomen are just as valid as ciswomen and that they deserve the same respect and treatment as anybody else in the current culture. Some will be glad to see that gone.

Mun Impressions

She's been hurt, and she deserves better.

I will say this again and again when it comes to Petra. She's been hurt through role play and she's healing. She's tender and she's scared and she might not interact much with people at first. It bothers her to wear the clothing the ranch requires as well and she's going to have a difficult time adjusting to the ranch in the general sense. Please go easy on her. Be forgiving. Love her. Thank you.

Friends

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

Enemies

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

Lovers

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

Family

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

Other

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

First Last • Relationship

Bacon ipsum dolor amet brisket shoulder pork belly, prosciutto cupim jerky andouille meatball ham hock porchetta landjaeger. Cupim shank filet mignon, corned beef rump brisket salami biltong shankle drumstick chicken. Rump turducken brisket, porchetta ball tip sausage spare ribs. Strip steak corned beef short loin prosciutto chicken. Sausage pork chop tail meatloaf. Cupim spare ribs boudin andouille. Ham hock shankle capicola leberkas pancetta.

Habits

Fiddling with Clothes

The way that clothes fit is important to any girl, but it's particularly important to Petra who, while happy with her body, doesn't want to show it off. She's constantly making small adjustments to make sure that everything is tucked up where it belongs instead of hanging out and making a show of the difference between her gender and her biological sex. Clothing is important to her, and she makes sure that hers looks remarkable every time she leaves her cabin.

Morning Makeup

The ranch doesn't permit girls to wear makeup, but because Petra requires it to give her the feminine look that she wants, she's found ways to improvise by using soot, ash, and berries to enhance her features. It's the earliest form of makeup and it's not altogether safe for her to use, but she has a small supply of ash and some dye that she uses to stain her lips and line her eyes which gives her at least some of what she's looking for. If she had access to makeup, her routine would be much longer.

Jotting Down Notes

A holdover from the days when Petra spent her days planning for her web show every week, she notes down things about how she feels, or ideas for another show or even an article. Activism is important to her, but most of all she wants to make individual trans kids more comfortable with their bodies and their world. That has to come first, but without her webcam or an internet connection, she's finding it frustrating and easier to think "big picture."

Quirks

Prefers Dresses

From the time that she was a little girl, Petra has preferred dresses. Pants, she says, are for boys, and regardless of what anybody says to or about her, she is a girl and not a boy. The uniform clothing at Brook Haven is driving her absolutely bonkers because it doesn't allow her to dress the way that she would if she had the choice, and she has to worry more about popping her tuck then she does when she's wearing a skirt.

Strong Accent

Petra was born in Russia, where she lived in an orphan home until her brother pulled her out and rescued her after he had come of age in the United States (after having been adopted by an American couple). She retrains her strong Russian accent and even continues to use several Russian words, usually when she's cursing. This has gotten her into some trouble in the recent past, however, and she may avoid speaking much at all to avoid having her accent pointed out.

Fearful of Exposure

Although Petra loves her body and she is proud of who she is, she fears exposure. She passes well, and doesn't have to generally worry about people detecting that her body doesn't entirely match her presentation. A recent experience taught her that she can't trust anybody who knows her secret to keep it, and so she has been tight-lipped about her status recently. She's now in the closet and not planning to come out of it any time particularly soon.

Loves her Body

Some transgender people hate their bodies; Some don't. In Petra's case, she loves her body. Her standpoint is that it does everything that it was made to do and then some. Not only does she have a fully functional penis, but she also gets to have breasts and a feminine figure. This is the way that she wants it -- for now. She has no dysphoria bout her body and she is perfectly comfortable with what she's got. This of course doesn't mean that she doesn't tuck to avoid questions, or make sure that she's as feminine as possible in public.

Hobbies

Computer Gaming

When she has access to technology (which she obviously currently does not), it's hard to pull Petra away from her computer. She doesn't want to go to school, and she will pass over doing her homework to livestream her latest game. She's partial to shooing games for the PC, but also loves gaming systems when she can get the right one. Then she's in love with platformers the most, as those were the earliest games she learned to play.

Youtube Channel

Perhaps secondary to her gaming (and some might say primary), Petra loves her Youtube channel. She uses it to communicate with other transgender teens who are in need of support and education about their lives, their world, and their bodies, and she takes her webshow very seriously. This is Petra's way of reaching out to other teenagers who might face a crisis and connecting with them in a meaningful way. She loves her Youtube channel.

Makeup

Petra loves everything about makeup. She enjoys wearing it, she enjoys applying it (both to herself and to others) and she enjoys making it. Here on the ranch she has learned how to use basic things to darken the lids of her eyes, to rouge her cheeks and her lips, and generally to make herself appear more feminine. So creating makeup has also become a hobby of hers that she particularly enjoys.

Skills

Public Speaking • Exceptional

Due in large part to her Youtube channel, Petra is great at standing up in front of people and speaking passionately about things that matter to her. It's unusual in that she is a shy person who doesn't always do well in groups of people, but she is excellent at standing up in front of a group to speak. She learned this skill through Youtube and continues to refine it to this day. Any project that involves speaking about something she's passionate about will likely succeed, though she doesn't do as well if she doesn't care about the topic.

English Language • Good

Russian-born, Petra didn't learn English until she started her Youtube channel four years ago, and she's still growing in the language, but does speak it well enough to get by. When she's frustrated she might revert to Russian, but for the most part her English is passable and she does well with communicating with others using the language of the country in which she lives. This is her only additional language, however, and Spanish is already throwing her off.

Web Design • Excellent

Though she's never had her own site, Petra has helped several others to design their web sites. She's quite good at it and experienced with CSS and HTML to the point that she can put up something that functions well for her friends. Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to country living and ranch work, but it's something that might do her well as her life goes on into the future, and it's a marketable skill that will work in the American system.

Interests

Activism

Petra believes (rightfully, many believe) that as a trans person she deserves to have the same rights as any cisgender person. She believes that as a foreign-born person she deserves the same rights, and that as a woman she deserves the same rights. Activism is important to her and she therefore wishes to follow on her passions by being active in her community and making sure that the people she cares about believe that they can do anything as well.

Transgender Interests

Medical science is advancing every day in the ways that it deals with gender dysphoria and body dysphoria, and Petra tries to keep up to date on what's going on in this area of medicine. She had to take black market hormones to get the body that she has and she cares deeply about making sure that there is good access to the drugs and hormones that teenagers need during transition. She is a distinct proponent of making sure that they have their needs met in adolescence instead of being forced to make it to adulthood first.

Programming

One day Petra would like to be a game designer, and she will read programming manuals cover to cover even if she doesn't have access to a computer to work on programming from. She's interested in different programming languages, but mostly she wants to work on game design, so she focuses on the languages that will allow her to get into a good school and study that as a topic of interest. She also knows HTML, PHP, and Java fluently.

Desired Plots

Mud in Her Face

Petra is very much a city girl. She's used to a life that involves the conveniences of electronics and technology that she no longer has access to. She's accustomed to pretty dresses and nice shoes. She is not a blue jeans and boots type of girl, and the fact that she's being forced into clothing that feels like it was made for a boy, and is cut wrong for her body, is going to piss her off.

It would obviously be interesting, therefore, for her to wind up getting mud on her clothes, in her hair, or on her face during some kind of activity, and have to deal with the way that this makes her feel. She doesn't like boyish activities, is not an outdoor girl at all, and she will be very upset to have "gotten dirty." I think that this could be an interesting way for her to interact within her group in particular, and to learn that this is the way that things are going to be from here on.

Getting Out There

Come what may, Petra is going to have to get out into the world and do things. She's not going to be able to stick herself behind a desk at a computer all day long and play games or record videos. She's going to have to get involved in the activities on the ranch, and I want to see her get pushed with how far she will go. It's going to take a lot of prompting her to get her directly involved with these activities though, and while I don't want something where somebody has to drag her, I am intrigued by the idea of her attempting to do her best and, maybe getting lost.

Other ideas are her getting injured because her body isn't ready for this, or if she winds up taking off in the wrong direction and getting some poor lost soul following her instead of the group. Basically what I'm looking for here is Petra trying but failing at something that is expected of her on the ranch because she's not ready for the physical expectations.

Discovery

I want to avoid making everything with this character about her gender, but it's also something important to her path as a character. For this particular plot, what I'm looking for is for another student to find out that her body doesn't match her presentation -- that she still has "male" anatomy. There are several ways that this could happen, from her popping a tuck to somebody stepping into the bathroom at the wrong time. It doesn't bother me if the person who discovers her secret is male or female, but I do want to make sure that the outcome of this is positive. Please note that Petra is terrified of being discovered following two incidents that have affected her gravely. The first happened historically, the other during role playing with another person who didn't respect her stated boundaries. It's very important that anyone who picks up this plot works it around to a positive outcome.

About Otter


Age: 37
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers
Time Zone: GMT-5
Native Language: English

Preferred Word Count: 500+
Likely Triggers: positive adoption language, abortion, miscarriage, needles, graphic, bloody violence. if you tag these, i should be okay!
Limits: Please don't make me chase your character down. I'm not going to go into grotesque detail about this, but I have a difficult time with chasing after a character. It's highly stressful for me and having to chase actually ruins the thread (and sometimes the relationship) for me.

Also, I have a soft limit of threads where graphic depictions of sexual abuse are part of the story. if you warn me ahead of time, i might be able to handle it.

Finally, for Petra in particular, please do not force her to expose her body to anybody for any reason. This has been done to her in the name of discipline and it was not a good situation for her.

Your Other Characters: rachel vanderbilt, logan brook, isabella curry, rebekah brook, grace somers, nathan curry, william jenkins, katelyn yu, eleanor noble, montana sheridan, nadia grisham, anne howard, cleo turley, thomas montgomery, esmeralda correa, symphony lyonette, liam holmes, Westley Holmes, daesung hyung, morgan keaton, everett jeffries, blake gilbert, seth pope

nathaniel philip
Counselor • 29 YRS
ENTJ
Occupation
Counselor
Nickname
Nathaniel
Pronouns
He/Him
Sexual Orientation
Heterosexual
Status
Single
Partner
Riding Style
Western
Nolo
is
Nolo Contendere

Breed
Quarter Horse
Gender
Mare
Age
7
Disciplines
Trail
Application
Ben
is Offline


Age
35
Pronouns
He/him
Timezone
EST
Contact
PM
54 Posts
235 Points
Pathfinder
Counselor
Petra & Nathaniel
The obvious connection between Nathaniel and Petra is that they're both city folks. It's a lot easier when Nathaniel can go home in the evening, but he'll try to bond with Petra over that. I mostly expect Nathaniel to get sucked into some kind of back and forth with her over access to technology, because Nathaniel is pretty in love with internet access himself, and is going to be bothered by just how upset she is at being deprived of it. I could imagine Nathaniel trying to negotiate with her in exchange for her cooperating with other ranch activities; probably not actually sneaking her access to electronics, because Nathaniel doesn't tend to break rules, but maybe trying to find ways to skirt around it that give her limited access, like relaying information to her, or even from her. I'm not sure whether or not this is actually a good idea for Petra, or whether Petra will find it helpful or just try to take advantage of it, but it's what he's likely to try.
Hit me back!
nick fisher
Student • 16 YRS
ENTP
Occupation
Student
Nickname
Nick
Pronouns
He/him/his
Sexual Orientation
Pansexual
Status
Single
Partner
Riding Style
Western
When people look at Nick, they tend to see a big dumb bully. For all most people experience of him, they might as well be right. At heart, Nick is a smart, sensitive kid who’s learned to act tough because it keeps him safe, but that’s buried deep enough that plenty of people will never encounter that side of him.
Eater
is
Peter the Pumpkin Eater

Breed
American Quarter Horse
Gender
gelding
Age
9
Disciplines
Pole Bending
Application
Ben
is Offline


Age
35
Pronouns
He/him/his
Timezone
GMT-5
Contact
PM
126 Posts
665 Points
Wellwader
Mustang
Petra & Nick
Nick is, or at least was, really into watching youtube, though he didn't make videos himself. (Well, not recently.) He wasn't that likely to have run into her videos, given his interests and the topic; it's not impossible, but given that he's not likely to use that information well, it's probably better to round against it. It might be interesting for them to discover their shared interest in youtube, which implies a certain amount of dramatic tension, because if Nick knows Petra made videos and ever gets the opportunity, he's likely to look them up, which Petra probably doesn't want. But until then, he's someone with a shared interest. TW: Trans fetishism There's another thing I'm not sure how to handle. I usually play this down, but Nick is in principle willing to have sex with basically every other teen he deals with. Given that Nick is already kind of threatening, and I don't want to make people uncomfortable, and I don't want to make myself uncomfortable, I've been rounding threads away from this. I'm bringing this up because Nick is going to be more than averagely attracted to Petra, and that's going to be more true if he learns that she's trans. This is not something about Nick I'm entirely comfortable with, but I want to be upfront about it, because if we do thread with them, it's something we need to work with or around.
Hit me back!
g. moybray
Student • 17 YRS
ESTJ
Occupation
Student
Nickname
Grace, Gray, Grayson
Pronouns
Depends, she/her, he/him, they/them
Sexual Orientation
Demisexual
Status
Single
Partner
N/a
Riding Style
English
G. was raised to be the perfect daughter, and when they came out as genderfluid, their parents were disappointed, and often used the wrong pronouns. An excellent field hockey player, G. felt pressure from their mother to lose weight, and eventually developed anorexia nervosa.
Barrel
is
A Barrel of Poppies and Roses

Breed
Morgan Horse
Gender
Mare
Age
7
Disciplines
Dressage
Application
is Offline


Age
21
Pronouns
Ze/zher
Timezone
GMT-8
Contact
Discord
42 Posts
310 Points
Wellwader
Mustang
G. & Petra
An intetesting idea! G. is very out, and Petra's channel could have been helpful, although G. isn't dealing with medical transitioning. At their school, G. would get a little bit of hate from others, so Petra's videos made them feel like 'there's a community here, I just need to find it.' It helped them towards realizing that they want to help LGBTQ+ rights G. would respect their differences, they know not everyone loves sports like they do, but they might want to help Petra out if she gets mad/annoyed with having to do all that nature stuff that G. loves, or G. might want to help with the 'muddy' chores. They would be really surprised if Petra wasn't really "out" among Brook Haven, and that is a good idea to start a thread.
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elaine wentwick
student • 15 YRS
INFP=T
Occupation
student
Nickname
ellie
Pronouns
she/her
Sexual Orientation
gay
Status
single
Partner
Riding Style
English
Ellie comes from a particularly tight-knit family in the UK, and when her grandmother died, she took it particularly hard. After embarassing herself and being outed by a girl at her school whom she asked out, she's decided that all people are either going to hurt her deliberately, or she'll get attached and something awful will happen. As a result, she's almost totally detached and the only thing that she'll make much noise for is riding Sonny, usually at a stupid speed!
sonny
is
six ways to sunday

Breed
grade horse
Gender
male
Age
12
Disciplines
trail riding
Application
is Offline


Age
22
Pronouns
he/him
Timezone
GMT+0
Contact
PM
31 Posts
235 Points
Pathfinder
Mustang

Petra & Ellie
It's pretty unlikely that Elaine would have come across Petra's work online, so any impressions she gets will be first ones without anything to inform them either way. Whether she likes it or not, she's stuck in Brook Haven because she won't open her mouth, and sooner or later she's going to have to talk to someone, so it might just as well be someone who's in the same section. Firstly, Petra is very tall. This is very intimidating, because when you're five foot three, everyone is tall enough to be intimidating. Given her own history, Elaine might even try making herself likable enough - probably by being slightly sycophantic and a bit weedy - that Petra won't even think to beat the snot out of her. Apart from the overlap in identity and their personal issues, the two might have a connection in their writing - depending on how scripted Petra's YT content was, and how related it was to news at the time, they might find that they both have a bit of a journalistic streak. It would be nice to have at least one other person around the ranch that Ellie can relax a little bit with, even if it's just over sharing some writing now and then.
Hit me back!


elaine wentwick
student • 15 YRS
INFP=T
Occupation
student
Nickname
ellie
Pronouns
she/her
Sexual Orientation
gay
Status
single
Partner
Riding Style
English
Ellie comes from a particularly tight-knit family in the UK, and when her grandmother died, she took it particularly hard. After embarassing herself and being outed by a girl at her school whom she asked out, she's decided that all people are either going to hurt her deliberately, or she'll get attached and something awful will happen. As a result, she's almost totally detached and the only thing that she'll make much noise for is riding Sonny, usually at a stupid speed!
sonny
is
six ways to sunday

Breed
grade horse
Gender
male
Age
12
Disciplines
trail riding
Application
is Offline


Age
22
Pronouns
he/him
Timezone
GMT+0
Contact
PM
31 Posts
235 Points
Pathfinder
Mustang

Petra & Elaine
That sounds both plausible and fun! Usually she'd get away with group work by doing things online, but that's not an option here, so Ellie's going to have to at least try to get something done with someone else in person - it might be a bit of a quiet meeting but the two could scribble plenty down between them. In the future, who knows, maybe Elaine might try taking a leaf out of Petra's book and record something since she isn't technically talking to someone? I want to see where this goes!
Hit me back!


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Skin coded by Devin exclusively for Brook Haven Ranch.